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A Memo from MTV’s VP of Programming Relating to 1,004 Episodes of Ridiculousness

group,

We’re preventing a conflict in opposition to TikTok and Netflix. Candidly—and this does not depart the constructing—MTV just isn’t at the moment profitable that conflict. I imagine there’s nonetheless a path to victory, however we have to actually assess our state of affairs earlier than we are able to confidently chart a course ahead.

At MTV, we make the mildew, after which we break the mildew. Meaning turning over each rock to mine the unexplored depths of American youth tradition. And you have completed that! The pitches you despatched me in This fall have run the gamut: Seaside Youngsters, Harmful Youthsand Enjoyable Rural Folks are all in our wheelhouse. Admittedly, I do not all the time get the prospect to learn each one in all your concepts, however I see them, or at the very least the topic traces. Nonetheless, our scores proceed to sink.

To kick off our firm’s soul-searching, I am going to tackle the elephant within the room. Truly, scratch that. It might not even be an elephant—could possibly be a rabbit, or one thing smaller, like a newt. However within the spirit of problem-solving and taking a look at each potential problem, I am going to introduce this mere flicker of a thought: It is potential that I should not have greenlit a thousand episodes of ridiculousness over the previous eleven years.

Instantly, I do know what you are pondering: “Whoa, John, decelerate! You are being too laborious on your self, massive man. What are you speaking about, dude? That present rocks!” And to that, I might reply: Look, all of us love the present, however as I write this, it is supper time right here in New York. ridiculousness got here on at 6 pm It’ll air repeatedly, with out interruption, till midday tomorrow. Meaning Rob Dyrdek, Chanel West Coast, and whoever the hell else we now have on are being beamed into 1 / 4 million properties throughout America for eighteen consecutive hours. Not even for a marathon or something. Similar to, a Wednesday.

Possibly I’m too self-critical, however I hold questioning if airing a clip present for 75 % of our broadcast schedule helps us appeal to a brand new viewers and even enchantment to our current one. What’s our technique right here? (That is rhetorical, however I’m open to strategies. E-mail all concepts to Marge and inform her to repeat me with the topic line “!!! READ ESTE JOHN 911.”)

Take into account this: Out of those workplaces and on the planet, have you ever met a single one who has talked about ridiculousness even eleven? I have not. Moreover, will we even need the kind of people that would watch consecutive episodes of ridiculousness to be followers of our community? I am unsure we do.

Then there’s the Rob factor. It is borderline merciless to make him host a thousand episodes of this present. Yeah, he signed the offers. However Rob is a shiny man. Take into consideration his precise lived expertise of him internet hosting this present, watching clips of idiots, on a stage with idiots, in entrance of an viewers of idiots, for a thousand episodes. It is psychotic. For context, America’s Funniest House Movies has been on the air since 1989, had 4 completely different hosts, and “solely” produced 752 episodes. Have we checked in on Rob’s well-being these days? That is an HR legal responsibility ready to occur.

What’s worse, I lately discovered that there have been 4 spinoffs: amazingness, deliciousness, adorablenessand messyness. Once more, sure, I greenlit them and have a producer credit score, transfer on. However, group, what are we doing? This is a humiliation for all of us, and I invite you to hitch me in taking possession of this catastrophe.

Accountability is every thing. I preach it and I apply it, so I’ve no hassle admitting that I have been rather less in contact with our broadcast slate over the previous ten years or so. somebody talked about Teen Mother 2 this morning, and I believed that was concerning the teen mothers’ kids turning into teen mothers. It isn’t, however somebody ought to run with that concept—we’d like some recent pondering round right here. There aren’t any sacred cows, apart from Snooki. And the good-looking Catfish man.

MTV was the community of TRL. Actual World. Beavis and Butthead. Punk’d. Cribs. Laguna Seaside. Jackass. Now we are the clip present station. We have misplaced our approach. Let’s get again to doing what we do finest: constructing iconic cross-platform franchises round movie star trainwrecks, or as we seek advice from them publicly, “larger-than-life personalities.”

Whereas we work out precisely how to do this, I might wish to announce a six-season pickup of ridiculousness in addition to plans for 2 new spinoffs, Obliviousness and Nothingness. I am assured these exhibits will bridge the hole to MTV’s subsequent nice technology of programming.

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